Traffic aggravating measures

'Traffic calming measures' is one of those misnomers that has become common in the English language now. You know the things - bollards, speed bumps, narrow sections of road, stripes - all manner of stuff to divert your attention away from the matter at hand -- driving. As far as I can tell, these things just serve to aggravate the average driver. I can tell you it works for me.

If I'm driving down a road with a 20mph speed limit and I see speed bumps, I'd like to believe that I'd be able to drive over them at 20mph. In most cases of course, even the biggest Chelsea tractor couldn't make it over a speed bump at 20mph without rearranging the litter of kids in the back and causing untold damage to the suspension. Surely it can't be that difficult to make a speed bump that you can navigate at the intended speed limit?

Then there's road-narrowing and bollards - both items which typically take me by surprise and cause me to brake because the illusion is that the road is becoming too narrow to drive down. The person following me brakes too - if he's seen me - and suddenly you have a street full of erratic slow-down-speed-up driving. It's all so very unnecessary.

I pity the poor soul who has to ride in an ambulance down one of these hump-ridden streets when they're in cardiac arrest.

I would argue that traffic calming measures typically make those streets more dangerous than they were before. When the neighbourhood kids run out into the street in front of us now, are we going to be concentrating enough to see them, or worrying about the next Everest-sized speed bump?

Phantom traffic jams

There are a lot of drivers today who need to be taught, it seems, that when they take their foot off the accelerator, their cars will naturally slow down. Too many times I see phantom traffic jams caused by inattentive or inexperienced drivers. The M25 around London is constantly full of these fools.

So what's a phantom traffic jam, you ask? Simple - it's a clogging of the motorway for no reason. Phantom jams are caused not by accidents, road works or any other physical reason but for a mental reason. Someone will come up a little fast behind a car in front, and rather than simply taking their foot off the accelerator, they'll brake a little. Their brake lights come on and the person behind them is then under the impression that they're slowing down properly, as oppose to adjusting their speed. So they brake too, only a little harder. Not much - 2 or 3% maybe. Multiply this scenario back up the line of traffic and eventually you'll get to one car that comes to a complete stop for no reason. Even if that's only for a second or so, it's enough. The phantom traffic jam is born and within minutes, the whole 3 or 4 lanes will be parked.

This java applet shows the effect wonderfully : Traffic Flow Simulator. Choose the ring-road simulation and after a few seconds you'll see a phantom traffic jam form and start to crawl backwards around the road. In this case caused by a single car that slows down fractionally before pulling out from behind a truck. This is exactly what happens on the M25 all the time.

So come on - try not using your brakes from time to time - traffic will flow much more freely.

Cyclists who jump red lights

I grew up in the Netherlands, so learned to ride a bike early. I rode in traffic and on cycle paths all through my childhood years. Since I was 16, I've been riding motorbikes. So whilst this next blog entry might come across as car-driver-who-is-anti-cyclist, trust me, I know exactly what it's like to ride in traffic.

So it continues to amaze me how many cyclists breeze through red lights and then get terribly annoyed when motorists going through green lights pilot 2-ton metal boxes into them. It's not a country-specific disease I've decided. I dodged these buffoons all the time back in England, and I'm having to do the same trouble here in America. Being a cyclists and motorcyclist, I just can't understand what is going on in these people's heads. Is their brain malfunctioning so badly that death is the better option to waiting 30 seconds for a green light?

And on the same subject, why do the police always talk to the wrong person? The yellow-bibbed chap who nearly adorned the bonnet of my car this morning did so in front of a police car. The very nice (but very misguided) officer duly stopped me and gave me verbal about being more careful. He was oddly unreceptive to the concept that my light was green, giving me the right of way, and the cyclist had jumped a red light. No - apparently it's my responsibility not to hit people who break traffic laws and cycle out in front of me. It's very similar to the current pro-pedestrian bias that I see now. But that's a topic for a different blog entry.

Going green

Do you know what the Green Wave is? Most cities have them.

It's the speed at which you can get through all the lights on a particular route on green. Typically the Green Wave speed will be slightly above or below the actual speed limit, but if everyone did that speed, the street would flow like the bowels of someone who's had a dodgy curry. Instead of course, people zoom along, changing lanes, desperate to be first at the next red light, more like an intestinal blockage.

But why does the Green Wave work? Simple - if you drive too fast, you'll get to the next set of lights before they go green and you'll be stuck waiting on red. Drive too slow and you miss the next green cycle completely, arriving too late and once again sitting looking frustrated at the red light.

The speed limit on 7th East near where I live in America is 45mph. The Green Wave speed is an unpublished 48mph. In the Netherlands where I used to live, there were published Green Wave speeds on some roads.

So go green - find the right speed and, traffic allowing, you'll see much fewer red lights.

Toyo: #1 Brand Overall.

Toyo tyres have once again been voted number one brand overall by Tire Review Magazine's annual Tire Brand Study of North American tire dealers:

#1 Brand Overall

Whilst this may be a bit of self-promotion - a brand voted for by the dealers who carry it - it's an interesting talking point. Toyo are, generally speaking, not a trips-off-the-tongue brand name. Ask people to name a tyre brand and you'll get Michelin, Pirelli, BFGoodrich, Dunlop, Firestone/Bridgestone - brands like that. Less frequently you'll get Yokohama, Avon and Uniroyal but it's not often someone will offer up Toyo as a brand they'd choose. In fact, some large internet stores like TireRack don't even carry Toyo.

Which is strange really, because despite the shameless self-promotion of "Number One Brand Overall", Toyo really do make reasonable tyres. They have a broad range to suit most cars, varying from wet-weather to road and track or sports tyres. In my limited and anecdotal evidence, Toyo are regarded, by those who use them as just plain good. I've driven many rental cars with Toyo's, and I had a set on one of my cars a while back. I found them to be a good quality, affordable brand. I prefer Yokohama now, but that's personal preference.

In the end of course, it's because Toyo are a less well-known brand that they need to publicise these sorts of awards - to try to become more mainstream. So next time you're in the market for a new set of rubber, give them a try - I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

The 2008 Ford Land Yacht

We've rented a car for the duration of the trade show I'm currently attending. First let me say +1 to Hertz in Orlando. I booked the car on Gold Service with a 45 minute pickup time and it was there and ready 45 minutes later. Hertz at Gatwick airport could learn a thing or two from that, but I digress.

The car we've been allocated is a brand new Ford Land Yacht. I believe the badge actually calls it a 'Fusion' but make no mistake, this petrol-hungry V6 Ford handles like the steering wheel is connected to the wheels through a bowl of custard. It's frighteningly vague. Oddly, once you're going at speed, it becomes pin-sharp and hyper-sensitive to the slightest steering input. This of course means you have to spend the whole time just trying to steer the thing in a straight line. I drove to Kennedy Space Centre from Orlando last weekend and it was the most exhausting 40 minute drive I've done for ages. I spent the whole time fighting to stop the Land Yacht from veering lazily all over the road as the steering took its input from roadkill, imperfections in the asphalt and, apparently, the slightest breeze.

The drive was made worse by the clumsily designed controls and the 70's plastic dashboard that creaked and rattled on the slightest bump. It's all very quaint for a car with only 244 miles on it. Or at least it would have been 50 years ago. By today's standards though, this car is a boil on the arse of motoring technology. If this is the best Ford can do, no wonder they lost a bazillion dollars last year.