Monday, November 22, 2010

Top Gear USA

Well. Top Gear US sucks in a way I thought was previously impossible. Three blocks of wood who can't read a script and aren't funny. They have zero chemistry together, and all they're doing is copying TG UK almost segment for segment, stunt for stunt. They did a Viper vs. a Cobra helicopter tonight which was a direct copy of when Clarkson went up against an Apache in a Lotus Exige. Only on Top Gear USA it was neither funny nor exciting.
They previewed a segment showing one of them in a car sealed up, filled with water, being driven on their track which is obviously a copy of Top Gear UK's episode where they were trying to prove that British Leyland cars weren't crap. Presumably from the same show, last night they showed a clip of one of the presenters hopping out of a car with a lousy handbrake on a hill - a direct copy of Hammond doing it. I think they even choreographed the way he got out of the car to try to be identical.
Their main driver, Tanner Foust, is all kinds of gay - the only thing missing from the show was his boyfriend. The fat bearded presenter is just objectionable in every way possible. (who the heck calls their kid "Rutledge"?) And I think they chose the third guy (Adam Ferrara) because his last name sounds like 'Ferrari'. I've no idea who he is but he made the other two look talented. None of the three of them have any excitement in their presentation. The scripting was so bad that at one point, Faust jumped ahead making a complete hash of the joke they were trying to tell.
Even the interview for star in a reasonably priced car was appallingly artificial and wooden - I think even Buzz Aldrin was reading from a script. And badly.
Top Gear USA sucks so badly I can't even find a metaphor for it. Clarkson needs to grab one of his guns and come over here and put this show out of its misery.
Kill it. Kill it with fire.

32 comments:

Ars.Gladius said...

Is it not that way for most US copies of good British shows?

jeanfromcornwall said...

No. don't kill it - just overtake it in a Trabant!

mel said...

Perfect...I love the REAL Top Gear!

Fuzzy said...

After watching this stuff I wasn't surprised by the badness of it. It seemed obvious.

What I was surprised for, was that the gay guy, Tanner Foust, actually _can_ drive. I mean that is what TopGear UK lacks - a professional driver (like former TopGearer Tiff Needell curently at "Fifth Gear").

...On the other hand - mr. Rainbow from TGUSA is not really giving any relevant information on the cars handling or anything, although he probably is capable of doing that. All he does is making some really good power slides and stunts.

Vladimir said...

Since I'm a big fan of Top Gear I watched the first episode of the US version and I couldn't agree with you more - a very bad remake. But if you think about it, every remake of Top Gear will probably be unsuccessful, because the tree gus there are a unique combination. I think it would be better if they tried to make some part of the show new and unique, but they just copied... everything (except The News, but there wouldn't be any time for commercials left so...).

P.S. Do you know how is the Australian version of the show? Is it better?

Chris said...

Vladimir. I think everyone thought the Australian Top Gear was about as bad as it could get. The US version has proved them wrong.

Jeremy said...

Having experienced years of the US ripping of UK quality and sullying it for it's own profit, that they finally took one of the greats and turned into the bland trash that only american TV can is no surprise.

All that remains now is for the thieves to re-write history to claim that in fact they invented it, stig and all. Akin to the ignorant claims that the US is "the home of the car" by way of trying to believe they invented it, which they didn't.

It's as tiresome and weak, as it is insulting, like much TV in the US.

All I can think is that it will fail horribly - that the original and far superior British show is pulled from being aired in the US. And then the masses are forced to watch the transparently horrid US version over and over.

Tragic, very tragic.

Chris said...

Yeah - it's bad. Not as bad as what the US remake did to "Life On Mars" but bad nonetheless.

Jeremy said...

How about Misfits ....... they copied that and turned it into the most heinous bile going.

The horrors the US is culpable of proven by wikileaks is nothing compared to what the do to UK television ....... whiles claiming to the world they are the best at everything and how everyone wants to be like them ........ sad.

Anonymous said...

please cancel this skunk turd of a show already. top gear UK has captured lightening in a bottle with the chemistry between those presenters. the top gear US had captured sewage runoff in a bottle. adam ferrera is great on Rescue Me but hes way out of his element here. foust is just not made for tv, any show ive seen him on hes been wet trash. not every show has to be remade, leave well enough alone.

-todd
Atlanta, GA

Zach said...

Just beacouse you think it is not good doesnt mean it isnt you need manners ok quit saying he is gay and also you are jelous of tanner, rutledge, or adam so get a life

Chris said...

Hey Zach. I'm not jealous of any of them, and as a bonus, I can spell too. Go and grab some UK copies of Top Gear and you'll see what we all mean about TG:USA being a steaming pile.

GreenHex said...

While TG-USA is not as bad as it is made out to be, it is a sanitized version of TG-UK.

BTW... "scientiest" is spelt "scientist"

keeftherazz said...

I'm open to correction here, but I believe the TG format is actually sold. So TG Austalai and TG USA woud of course beealong the same lines as TG GB.

Although not as good...

adrian said...

You all suck. They don't all have fucked up teeth and put down every car on earth and actually are funny. The British version sucks balls.

zach said...

Adrian i aggere with you

Anonymous said...

Topgear UK sucks

Stefan said...

I like both if them. Although I personally care for TG:UK more than TG:USA

Maxdog.VF213 said...

Hey There Gang!

Great Article But Lets Not Forget how they "Attempt" to copy the Challenges from Our Beloved Top Gear UK and do NOTHING But Ruin Them And just Totally Suck At making them entertaining!! The Sad part is I am 100% Born In The USA, but after watching this show I was so embarrassed that within 20 min of the series premiere I Was FRANTICALLY searching Online For a 1 way ticket to The UK For That Eve So I can Say I was in London for the first showing of this pile of sick they call a show. I mean the presenters are just ridiculous, the "New York guy" (Cant recall his name as I would rather have bird flu then retain ANY info about TG-USA, And Have ZERO Desire to even spend any energy to scroll up to look!) But that tool just goes out of his way to try and look like an idiot but in a way "He thinks is cool" And god he is dead off and just tries SOOO hard to look and act like he belongs any where near a car show. Honestly, unless its Worlds Dumbest Police Videos, He has no business being on a Car related show, he makes Me feel Sick!

Now The big Dude, I was in total shock to find out he was supposed to be some racing analyst as when I hear him talk he sounds like he would have a hard enough time explaining how a door handle works much less try and tell Me his "Analysis" or any race out there, unless it is a race to a Vegas Buffet there is NOTHING he could tell Me that I would have Any interest in.

Now I will say this, as far as Tanner Foust Goes, (Yes I know His Name From Racing As I Am A DIE HARD Formula 1 And GT Racing Fan) I think he is a great driver as He has won many a race and has done an awesome job doing so but standing next to his 2 co-presenters (That Mind You Have ZERO Real Chemistry At All.) you cant help but forget all the great he has done in racing, and how much you loved his driving and do nothing but associate him with this Pile Of Crap Show!

In Short all I can say is this, TG-USA is a HUGE Disgrace to the Top Gear Franchise and should be Pulled From TV And Burned So that no one in the future can EVER Prove This show was part of their history. It amazes me that the dull Germans and the Super Crazy Aussies Destroyed the good ole USA in Successfully Making a Show that 90% Of Strait Men All Over The World LOVE, A Creative, And Funny Ass Show About Cars!

Thank God I Get BBC America And Can Continue To Watch The Top Gear I Have Always Loved And Watched For The Past 6 Years I Have Been Able To Get It! Prior To That I Could Only Read About It Online Ever Since I Seen It For The First Time About 7 Years Ago While In London For Work.

Thanks For The Site And A Space To Share Our Thoughts And Rant About The Show Guys, Lol. The Show That Should Be Named "LOW GEAR!"
Max.

Anonymous said...

tanner is not gay! and I like the show its funny. TGUK is dull TGUSA is funny and Tanner is one hell of stunt man

Anonymous said...

agreed. the show is terrible. not at all entertaining. just a lame replica, kind of like a cheap plastic model.

TG USA needs to be original and need new hosts. its USA, so stick to what you know: big engines, drag racing, big rigs, trucks, nascar...etc etc you get my picture.

Anonymous said...

Anybody that says the UK version sucks... just die, how can you all be so fucking blind and stupid? So depressing...

Anonymous said...

lol homophobe much?

Anonymous said...

I've seen the uk version several time and every time I got so bored I almost fell asleep. The USA version is so much better it's not even funny. I've seen every episode Of top gear USA at least 30 times and love it you gise are idiots and don't no A good show if ya see one

Chris said...

It's "guys", not "gise". And "know" not "no".
And you're right - the USA version really is "not even funny".

Anonymous said...

You all have no sence of humor if y'all don't think it's funny, get real

Anonymous said...

The production of US television just need to have some ethics when it come to original. While the ethics do not follow, then I guess, I will just cross my finger hard till it twisted bleed and America's television will just die off.

Maxdog.VF213 said...

So I happen to see yet another crap show of TGUS and they are testing "Eco Cars" Well they all show up with the high end of the crap Roller Skate cars they picked, So Adam pops up with a Fiat 500, I mean your trying to win but ya dont pick up the Abarth, REALLY???? If that doesnt SCREAM rigged I dont know what is, I mean he talks like he got the best fiat out there! I mean the other guys showed up with the top of the line models of the cars they chose but Adam shows up with a BASE Fiat. PLEASE GOD END THIS or make it more realistic. As I have said in prior posts, I have been watching TGUK for 8 years, yes alot of it is rigged but atleast its realistic and original where they all try to out think each other when they "cheat", The US version likes to treat us like we are tools and never seen a TV advert, like they have gone all out with what they are doing..
Im sure I will get a few ranting BS about My post but I Love cars, Im not about playing the who is better Top Gear, I really want TGUS to be good, But when crap is crap ya have to avoid it so ya dont ruin your shoes, but if your all about smellin crap all day so you can claim the US rocks then more power to your stank. Love the US, Served My country for 14 years, but even I can call a turd a turd.

Enjoy the post gang, talk to ya on the pissed off replies! :P

Anonymous said...

Who cares if Tanner is gay.
I don't know if he is.
But it wouldn't matter.
He's a better driver than you!

Anonymous said...

America has better TV and Movies the the UK...

Maxdog.VF213 said...

Now how can you possibly know he is a better driver than Me?? You dont know Me, For all you know I could be Michael Schumacher posting on the down low..

Anonymous said...

Said no one ever.