Monday, November 22, 2010

Top Gear USA

Well. Top Gear US sucks in a way I thought was previously impossible. Three blocks of wood who can't read a script and aren't funny. They have zero chemistry together, and all they're doing is copying TG UK almost segment for segment, stunt for stunt. They did a Viper vs. a Cobra helicopter tonight which was a direct copy of when Clarkson went up against an Apache in a Lotus Exige. Only on Top Gear USA it was neither funny nor exciting.
They previewed a segment showing one of them in a car sealed up, filled with water, being driven on their track which is obviously a copy of Top Gear UK's episode where they were trying to prove that British Leyland cars weren't crap. Presumably from the same show, last night they showed a clip of one of the presenters hopping out of a car with a lousy handbrake on a hill - a direct copy of Hammond doing it. I think they even choreographed the way he got out of the car to try to be identical.
Their main driver, Tanner Foust, is all kinds of gay - the only thing missing from the show was his boyfriend. The fat bearded presenter is just objectionable in every way possible. (who the heck calls their kid "Rutledge"?) And I think they chose the third guy (Adam Ferrara) because his last name sounds like 'Ferrari'. I've no idea who he is but he made the other two look talented. None of the three of them have any excitement in their presentation. The scripting was so bad that at one point, Faust jumped ahead making a complete hash of the joke they were trying to tell.
Even the interview for star in a reasonably priced car was appallingly artificial and wooden - I think even Buzz Aldrin was reading from a script. And badly.
Top Gear USA sucks so badly I can't even find a metaphor for it. Clarkson needs to grab one of his guns and come over here and put this show out of its misery.
Kill it. Kill it with fire.