Is there a Santa Claus?

Ok so this post isn't especially relevant to cars and motoring but Santa does use a vehicle, so that counts, right? So I ask - is there really a Santa Claus?
1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
2) There are 2.5 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. But, since Santa doesn't appear to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average census rate of 3.5 children per household the world over, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different timezones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course we know to be false, but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding etc etc.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at around 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For the purpose of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying a minimum of 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull ten times that amount, we cannot do the job with eight or even nine. We need 214,000 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison, this is four times the weight of the QE2.
5) 353,400 tons travelling at 650 miles per second causes enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earths' atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously and vaporise, exposing the reindeer behind them, and creating deafening sonic booms. This would wake people up, and the reindeer team would be reduced to ashes in a mere 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to combined forces some 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250 pound Santa (which, lets be honest, seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds-per-square-foot of force.
In conclusion - if Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's long dead.

Did you buy a car for Christmas?

It's been a decade since I lived in England, so I don't know if they have the same sort of TV ads over there when approaching Christmas as we do here in the US. Specifically, the "buy your loved one a car for Christmas" ads. Most of the luxury brands do it. Mercedes, Jaguar, Lexus, Porsche - all seem to think that a car would be an ideal last-minute gift. Jaguar have their "Unwrap A Jaguar" event. Come in now and from only $70,495 you can make your partner faint with happiness come Christmas morning.
Mercedes, meanwhile, suggest in their annual "Winter Event" that perhaps $105,000 is a more reasonable sum to spend on a car. Unless you're interested in their AMG machines, in which case you won't have any problem spending a little extra. And it all comes with the low low financing rate of 1.9% too. What a bargain.
If Lexus is a little more your speed, you're in luck. Over there you can splurge on cars for the entire family with everything from the super cheap IS at $35,000 (for the kids) all the way up to $375,000 LFA (for Dad, apparently).
Is it just me, or does this seem ludicrously out-of-place for Christmas. Ok I know it's been overtaken by commercialism, but do people really buy cars for presents?
Anyway - Merry Christmas everyone. Now stop reading this silly internet blog and go and drink some mulled wine and eat some mince pies.

Continuous flow intersections : Mental.

Let me introduce you to Continuous Flow Intersections. Watch this, then read on: Does that seem in any way simple or clean to you? The fact that UDOT needed to make a video to try to teach drivers what the this abomination is should tell you that this is not a simple intersection. They started putting them in around here about 2 years ago and since then, the number of people driving on the wrong side of the road because of these things has skyrocketed. Accident rates have soared, congestion has reached record levels at these intersections and confusion reigns supreme. They spent millions introducing them, and shut down the roads for close to a year to get them built. And why? There's a much simpler intersection that solves their "conflict points" problem. Ladies and gentlemen: the roundabout. I guess the problem is that roundabouts are simply too logical, too simple, too efficient. Better to waste millions and create an accident nightmare eh? Plus, watching Americans trying to negotiate a roundabout is an entertaining and embarrassing representation of the human ignorance about an intersection that does not require you to stop but does require you to yield. It seems to cause some sort of severe psychological disorder since it is neither green nor red, but requires them to steer and calculate approaching distances of their own vehicles and the others on the road at the same time.
Anyway, I won't go near these continuous flow things any more - they're too dangerous. I've seen trucks end up on the wrong side of the road, I've seen people shooting red lights and causing huge accidents (because the location of the lights means the relative speeds involved in head-on collisions is much greater than it is at a normal intersection). There have been numerous reports of pedestrians struck by cars because they forget they have to look the wrong way to cross the first lane of the intersection.
Continuous flow intersections are a nightmare clearly designed by a committee of non-road-users.

Guest post : Winter Driving Advice

Even the best drivers in the best conditions are at risk when on the road, simply because you cannot control the other motorists around you. The risks of driving increase tenfold in the wintertime, with slick roads, worse visibility through snow and fog, and reduced sunlight in the morning and evening hours complicating your travel. Properly preparing your vehicle for cold weather driving and educating yourself on safe winter driving techniques can do more than save you money on repairs and insurance: it can save your life.
Check your Vehicle
Routine vehicle checklists are important in warmer months, but a failure in winter can compound the already dangerous conditions. Clean and polish your headlights to ensure proper night vision, and keep your battery fully charged so you don’t find yourself stranded and freezing. Clean your windshield and wiper blades, check your tire pressure, and refresh your fluids, including windshield wiper fluid, oil, and antifreeze. Consider filling out an emergency bag to keep in your trunk stocked with supplies such as non-perishable food, a flashlight, a shovel, and a first aid kid.
Check the Weather
The single best thing you can do to keep yourself safe when driving in the winter is check the weather early and often. Be especially cautious if there are winter storm watches or warnings in your area, but be mindful of anything worse than clear skies. Many local weather services will have a notice of ice conditions on the road, especially in the morning, when roads may have iced over overnight. If conditions are expected to worsen significantly while you are out, consider rescheduling the trip.
Be sure you are aware of alternate paths in case one road becomes blocked due to an accident or other impediment, and let someone know when you are leaving and the path you intend to take in case of an emergency where you are unable to contact anyone by phone.
Check your Speed
Posted speed limits are set under the assumption of ideal conditions, and are too fast for safe driving in difficult conditions. In the winter, ideal conditions will be rare. Slick roads will cause your stopping distance and your chance of skidding to increase, and slowing down is the best way to combat this. Be especially gradual in your braking, acceleration, and steering for the same reason.
Be sure your stopping distance never exceeds the visible distance ahead of you, and begin slowing down for traffic and intersections earlier than you normally would, as an invisible patch of ice ahead can easily send you far past your intended stopping point. Brakes are less reliable overall in slippery conditions, so rely on a slow deceleration without hard braking. For the same reason, try and avoid braking on curves: your wheels will not grip as well when locked, and if the road is slick, the car may slide outward off the road or into oncoming traffic.
Even if the road looks clear, be very mindful of bridges, overpasses, or even especially forested areas. The decreased sunlight these locations are exposed to could mean that large patches of ice remain on the road after it has melted everywhere else.
If worst comes to worst and you find yourself stuck in snow, avoid gunning the engine: your tires will simply dig the rut in further and make it harder to get out. Instead, alternate moving forward and in reverse to try and widen the area you have to move and eventually build the momentum to escape. If unsuccessful, try and use a shovel to dig yourself out – or hope for friendly passerby! If you drive conservatively and defensively and take proper precautions, you should be able to avoid this unfortunate situation all winter long.

AUTHOR: David Young works for Car Accessories Plus, enjoying a quieter life after spending most of his years on a hard floor underneath vehicles the world over.

Guest post : Breakdown myths and mysteries.

We've all experienced that moment of dread when we're driving along the highway at 60mph and we lose power. When a pop and a sizzle turns in to a smoking hood, or a bump leaves us hearing the flap-flap-flap of a shredded tyre. Breakdowns can ruin vacations and road trips in an instant and can cause even more serious problems if you need to commute to work every day. Luckily we're now able to buy breakdown cover and have some roadside assistance when we need it most, but even if we're able to get a tow to the garage; that's only half the battle.
Car Insurance
A lot of people believe that their car insurance covers them for any parts failure caused by wear and tear. Even the most comprehensive of schemes will rarely protect you against this kind of damage, much to the public surprise. Most car insurance brokers will outline, albeit in small print, a lot of additions that you might not necessarily be aware of. If your breakdown is a result of general wear and tear or what can be naturally expected of a car of that age, your broker will wave you away like an irritating housefly.
Breakdown Cover
Most breakdown schemes have a variety of inclusions, all aimed to cater for different individuals and their needs. A lot of people don't know that some of the factors contained within their policy that come as standard are available at no extra cost. Some companies will hide the fact that they offer a replacement rental car or will pay for your accommodation or further travel. They include these as standard so that they can operate under a 'Premium' name and will use them as a last ditch selling point to a customer that isn't convinced. For the average Joe, they'll keep hiding this point until the very last second.
Using Your Cell Phone Whilst Stationary
Many people don't know the complex and intricate laws that are involved in driving on the road, most of us just listen to popular wisdom and much repeated facts. One of the most common offences committed by drivers, and this often happens in the event of a breakdown, is calling whilst stationary. The true legal recourse is that if your engine is on whilst you dial, you're breaking the law. It doesn't matter if you've been in a traffic jam for an hour or you've pulled over with a flat tyre; if your engine is on and you use your phone, you're breaking the law. Make sure that when you call your breakdown assistance, your engine is firmly switched off.
A Strange One
Whilst we would never recommend this, there is a strange myth about reversing that actually happens to be true. A driver does not have to wear a seat belt whilst reversing. If you've pulled over after a breakdown and you want to reverse into a safer location, technically you're at the liberty of this loophole;"…a person driving a vehicle while performing a manoeuvre which includes reversing…". But as soon as you put your car back into a driving gear and you move even half an inch forward, you must re-buckle. For safety's sake, just keep it on.
Flat Battery Re-Charge
Dead batteries are one of the leading causes of breakdown internationally. In years gone by, a jumpstart would be enough to get us home and away with no problem. In the days before iPods, heated seat and GPS systems, car batteries could be fully recharged in an hour or less. The higher strain on the alternator with modern devices means that it has little energy left to charge the battery, so don't assume that everything is going to be fine next time you go out to start your car.
Author Byline: Matt Bonner has been a car enthusiast for years. In his youth he worked as both a mechanic and an engineer, but now works as a consultant for EasyWheels.

People who park in handicap spaces but aren't disabled.

The Detroit Free Press finally did an expose on one of my big pet peeves - people who aren't handicapped but use the disabled parking spaces. These are the worst of the worst in my opinion. People with such a morally corrupt core that they have no problem doing stuff like this. I don't care if it's people with no permit, or people "using a friend's permit", or even people using a permit from someone in their own family. They're all as bad as each other. I've challenged people about this on occasion and without exception, they always go on the defensive and always spin some bullshit excuse about how they're entitled to park there. Last time this happened I went to butt-in to an argument a guy in a wheelchair was having with a lady who'd parked in the disabled space. In the end she had no remorse or conscience - typical of so many self-centred people today. As long as they serve themselves, nobody else matters.
Anyway - the Detroit Free Press video is quite informative. See for yourself.
The woman at 3 minutes is amazing: "Well where's the handicap sign then?".
"Erm - right there, right in front of you!"
"Oh."